Diagramming About Music Is Like Fingerpainting About Architecture

Learning to appreciate music in new ways.

(Courtesy Jeannr)

Don't Trust 3OH!3

To the members of 3OH!3,

This is not a fan letter.

I’m afraid I don’t really enjoy your music at all, but I respect your relative success, especially given the considerable disadvantage from your name. You don’t see !!! topping the charts. Panic! At The Disco became Panic At The Disco and Ultravox! became Ultravox for precisely that reason; they couldn’t back up all the emphatic excitement and exclamation point implied.

Apparently, you guys have the beats to hold on to your punctuation, which is great. I put no faith in my own taste in music, anyway. Instead I devote myself to logic, and after hearing the lyrics of your song throbbing from speakers everywhere and posted into hundreds of Facebook statuses, I simply have to ask that you write an edited version cutting out all questionable lyrics. I find some of the concepts you present to be more dangerous to impressionable audiences than any simple expletive. I will provide a list of lyrics that need editing.