In The Mail: PETA Part 1

I won't make a stand here on the Total Animal Liberation Movement (PETA's stated goal, as opposed to animal welfare), but independent of its cause, PETA is pretty ridiculous. (I quake in fear as I write; at any moment commandos may storm in and douse me with red blood.)

Maybe it's because I still get a kick out of Sesame Street and Muzzy, but some of PETA's propoganda directed at children. No, I'm pretty sure even Chuck Norris would get the heebie-jeebies from some of the stuff they hand out to kids. The funny thing is the range of tactics they use, from peeing-in-my-pants horror to heart-melting adorableness. See some of PETA's past work, and some of the stickers they recently sent me in the mail.

From THIS to THIS

My favorite quote from this one: "In the forest, nasty men in boots catch animals in traps." In boots? Why specify footwear?               Also: "Tell [your mommy] that you know she paid men to hurt and kill the animals. Everyone knows. And the sooner she stops wearing fur the sooner the animals will be safe. Until then, keep you doggie or kitty friends away from mommy- she's an animal killer!"

The sequel: "Until your daddy learns that it's not 'fun' to kill, keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He's so hooked on killing defenseless animals that they could be next!"

This year's models:

ELEFRIEND! There may not exist a cuter word in the English language. Sure, "Sprocket" sounds nice, but the accompanying illustration is never as adorable.

Shamelessly capitalizing on Finding Nemo. And I don't care. Look at that sad little sea kitten.

Maybe not a wholly positive message, but clever nonetheless. That said, I feel I missed an integral part of high school when my biology class never dissected a frog. I had hoped, because on the 90's sitcoms I base my life upon, that some radical student would liberate hundreds of frogs, sending the school into chaos.

But wait, there's more. PETA's comic books for kids range from ele-friendly to ele-lies. Coming soon.