I Win, But Am Sort of Disappointed By Lack of Drama

A response to BookByte: Things Get Serious

Hello and thank you for contacting us.

The ISBN you entered in at time of purchase was 9780078791420 for “Glencoe Spanish Buen Viaje!, by Schmitt, Level 3, Grades 9-12” the ISBN we received from you was ISBN 9780078619908  for “Buen Viaje! Glencoe Spanish 3, by Schmitt, 2nd Edition, Grades 9-12” which has no system value and we are not purchasing it at this time.

We do not normally return incorrect books that are sent to us for any reason, this is why we ask that you enter in ISBNs found from the front copyright page of the book, to verify the ISBN for the book is correct. All incorrect books sent to us are recycled or donated. However I will courtesy return this book to you via Expedited shipping.

Regards,

Jamie King

Bookbyte.com Customer Service Representative

(Note: I am so upset I don't get to sic the BBB on somebody's ass. And I did enter the ISBN Number.)
(But they did send me the book. It's sitting, completely useless, on my bookshelf. For now. But when the new ice age comes and I'm looking around for things to burn, I'll be glad to have it.)

Don't Trust 3OH!3

To the members of 3OH!3,

This is not a fan letter.

I’m afraid I don’t really enjoy your music at all, but I respect your relative success, especially given the considerable disadvantage from your name. You don’t see !!! topping the charts. Panic! At The Disco became Panic At The Disco and Ultravox! became Ultravox for precisely that reason; they couldn’t back up all the emphatic excitement and exclamation point implied.

Apparently, you guys have the beats to hold on to your punctuation, which is great. I put no faith in my own taste in music, anyway. Instead I devote myself to logic, and after hearing the lyrics of your song throbbing from speakers everywhere and posted into hundreds of Facebook statuses, I simply have to ask that you write an edited version cutting out all questionable lyrics. I find some of the concepts you present to be more dangerous to impressionable audiences than any simple expletive. I will provide a list of lyrics that need editing.

CVS: I want to find something mean that could stand for...

CVS Corporation

Corporate Headquarters

One CVS Drive

Woonsocket, RI 02895

Dear CVS,

I’ve been to my fair share of CVS stores. In Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts and Maine they’re all the same. The red sign with the inexplicable slash mark. The gabled entryway that disguises the flat roof. The parking lots in the back and the front. The slight awkwardness of never being sure whether by saying “CVS store” I’m being redundant.

All of these things are a comfort. Whenever I travel to a town with a CVS, I know that a little piece of home has followed me there. Without even entering I know where to find the skin-tingling moisturizer that also highlights my hair, or the Hello Kitty Wart Remover, or the organic Tibetan shampoo made from minerals found at the top of Mt. Everest. Back-left aisle, back-center aisle, and front-left aisle respectively. I know I’ll find signs that say, “WOW” that point put the best deals. The ExtraCare card on my keychain will earn me the respect of a high elder in pharmaceutical consumption and savings as if I were blackmailing the manager.